I am an Aunty!!!!

I am so happy that I am an Aunty!!! My sister is pregnant and is due december- not sure of the sex- only 1 month preg. I cannot wait for her to have a baby and to be called Aunty Nichole. I cannot believe it!!! :) Well I thought I might be the frist to give our parents grandkids, but brownie points for my sister. Life is strange with all these unexspected turns. I say this because the fact that my sister is pregnant was not a planned thing- infact she didnt want kids. I think having her baby is going to teach her alot about things, such as responsiblity, accountability what she struggles wtih presently. I think this is a difficult position for her to be in with not wanting kids right now- but also a major blessing. I think she is going to grow to be a better person because of it. I pray that this is the case. Life is going so quickly... things are happening faster each and every day. I can hardly hold onto something to stand my ground. But thank God I have purpose and direction and a future already planned out-- its all in Gods hands. Although the timming with this baby is seeming off to my sister- God has bigger plans than we know-- his timming is not ours. I always think I have things all figure out until God reminds me: "Hey Nichole, Remember who is in charge here?" I think God laughs at our plans- really. I am so excited I cannot wait for this baby to step into our world. thank You Jesus !!!!

I cannot wait for summer

I think everyone, including me is ready for this semster to be done and over with. I am sick of being full time in school. I am ready for a full time job which makes me feel like I am actually doing something worth my time. I hate going to college when I have no directions as to what I want to do yet for a profession. Yeah you get your general ed out of the way-- I just wished our college had a career class to take to decide on a career. It's so not motivating not having somehting to work toward. I am getting my AA in general ed- wahoo!!! whats next? I would like time off to think about that question. To really understand why I am spending all my money on school wihtout a dirrection as to waht I am going to do. I truely dont understand the point. PLus I really want to figure out what I really enjoy doing since I dont want to just pick a profession and then hate it in the end. This is truely a complicated stage of my life-- can I fast foward my life? I hate the not knowing the uncertainty of my future. What ever shall I do? Sorry,I am rambling but I must be in that mood. I hope you all are getting the point though. People say get an education-- I say get a life worth living for. Education without a purpose and dirrection seems pointless. i want to know what I am going to do!!!! Life reveal to me what I am going to do-- or I am going to waist my time running in circles without a path. Whats the point of running the race when you cannot see the finish line? But I guess its important to keep your feet moving and start the race or you will never find the outcome-- the finish line. I ready to start feeling accomplished. Until then I am just on the marry-go-round of life.

Spring Break went by way too fast!!

Oh how I wished that I could be done with school and summer was here. I have been working toward my AA degree and transfer requirements for the last 2 almost 3 years. And although I only have a few classes left I feel as though I want to through the towel in now. Let me tell you that I would much rather be working full time then going to school full time. School gets boring when its all you ever do day in and day out. I drive 45 minutes into town and 45 mins back home almost every day, which means if I forget anything I am straight out of luck. It sucks living out of town. And tonight I have the pleasure of writing a 6 page paper on a controversial subject- yahoo!! I am not the best at being persusaive so will see how I do. Do you think that sex before marriage is too much of a heated topic for my paper? I was thinking about doing that topic or "to have kids or to not have kids" which may be a more lighter subject. Unfortunantly, the most common debatable topics, such as abortion, are not a choice we can choose for our papers. I would have liked to debate abortion since I went to a confrence recently in Eugene, Oregon and learned some intresting facts about abortion. I use to think that in some cases it would be okay, and even for myself- If I ever had to make the decision - its my choice-- but now I am very prolife and the confrence really affirmed my faith: Its a child- not a choice. I strongly believe that abortion is wrong. But for people who have had abortions I dont hate them or think ill of them- I hate the doing not the people. I just wished that all people new the true reality of abortion being murder and that people would be convicted otherwise not to have abortions. A very cool website to check out is: stand up girl.

I hate public speaking!!!!

I know I have told you all this very well, but I can't stress enough how much I hate public speaking. This week I had to do a group presentation in my psychology class. I nearly died. I spent the whole of Tuesday morning sick because of it. I even had back up people from my group that would take over my part in case I froze, or had to run away to barf. I even thought about recording my speech and playing it while I lipped the whole thing.The Group Presentation was located at the FLC campus. Which is worse then EDC campus because their classrooms are the size of movie theatres- there's are at least 100 people in my class- and that's not exaggerating-- I bet you there is more. I spent the whole time talking to my paper and not the class. Every time I tried to look up to speak the class my brain would go blank- so I kept to staring at my paper to keep me going. I got so nerves that I couldn't even work my PowerPoint to move the slides while I talked. People say... the more you do public speaking the easier it gets-- but I don't believe them. Every time I have to speak publically- I freak out. I am so happy to have learned that at least one of my teachers for group presentation is allowing us to video tape ourselves rather than stand up in front of the whole class. I can not wait for this semester to be over and done with. I stress out way too much over public speaking. Every class this semester makes you do the stink en thing. I am convinced that one day I will die because of my fear.

Found in the Mud

I am stuck in the mud
I cant get out
I tried to move
But I am beginning to doubt
Why am i hear?
Why can't I get out?
The hole I dug
went down too deep

I tried to dig myself out

but I realized I was too week

Much like the sin that enevelops our lives

it cripples us and tells us lies

But through the one who conqured sin

He breaths in us new lives!

No longer bound to the pit of doom

Jesus died for all that whom....Belive in Him

Confess that He is Lord

Your sins are washed away

Something that you could never affrord

God had to pay

Purchased with His blood

That His love may give way

You can have knew life

Just ask Him today!

A solid rock to which I now can stand upon

A new foundation to which I believe on.

I want to tell the World

I want to tell you

This great love I have found in Jesus

Can also be in you

Stupid Drunk Drivers

Last night, as I just had smitten an online test, the power went out due to a crash near my house. Some 20 year old man and his girlfriend were in the car. The guy must have been going too fast and apparently was drinking- he knocked a pole down and flipped his car over. Thank God both of them are okay. The girl was the only one suffered a minor injury- she tweaked her knee. I hope that this will teach them a lesson- not to drink while driving, or enter into a car with a driver who has been drinking. Now they will suffer their consequences of their actions- a damaged car, hospital bills,and a possibility of jail. My step dad went to the scene but I stayed inside my house- I heard from him about the accident. My step dad, along with other neighbors came together to help out- he dragged the man out of the car- who was refusing to get out. "He reaked of alcohol and was stubborn to get out of the car" my step dad said. People think that they can get away with drinking and driving- that it will never turn out bad for them. This was a minor accident but think of what could be your not only risking your life or your girlfriend's life but other people's too. How can people be that stupid? How many people die as a result of person's stupid actions? It makes me furious to know that people can be that stupid!!!! I am surprised that the power was on his morning- I was figuring it would take longer to fix the problem- This is a good things since my house was being shown by a Realtor this morning. I hope we get an offer and our house sells. I am tired of living so far away from everything- its a waste of gas money and time.

In class assigment

I hated this last assignment- which was pitching advertisements. Here i had written such clever ideas down for my advertisement and couldn't even make the words out to present it to the class. I know that I wasn't the only one who was stage fright to present-but I still felt like an idiot which was not cool. Looking at other people get up there- it seemed easier for them just to talk to the class without the fear of messing up. I don't know why i am so afraid but somehow my body shakes, I turn beat red, and my head clouds over and I cannot focus- when I had to pitch. I was thankful to be second in line I might have been worse if I had to wait longer- then I wouldn't have been able to say anything maybe. I guess I should have made my pitch short and simple it would have been done faster and probably more effective. I am afraid I got a bad grade on this assignment. It would have been way to cool if all we had to do is turn our posters in without having to pitch. I made it half way through my poster before I started making up the words because I couldn't focus enough to read them. Did anyone notice? I hate public speaking I know I could go far if I could get passed it. I am good a good communicator and like people but some how getting up and presenting is a whole new ball Field. I have no problem pitching from my seat- its when I get up that i swallow my own stomach and my throat gets clogged. What ever is my problem? It seems silly to think that public speaking is such a big deal to get scared over. So what you mess up right? who cares? But somehow I don't feel like announcing that I could mess up. Am i the only one who feels this way?